TEN WORDS OR FEWER INTERVIEW: Tim Whitehouse, author of The Tender Wall

Tim Whitehouse, author of The Tender Wall, has been invited to take part in TriumphOfTheNow.com‘s “Ten Words or Fewer” interview format!

Read on below!

Q: What is the title of your book?
A: The Tender Wall.

Q: Why did you choose this title?
A: It relates to a surprise later in the story.

Q: What’s the book about?
A: The wealth divide, the housing crisis and rich people’s priorities.

Q: Why did you write this book?
A: I saw what was happening with rent prices and homelessness.

Q: And why now?
A: I was unemployed, living in a caravan, needing a project.

Q: Are you working on any new projects?
A: A prequel to The Tender Wall.

Q: What/who do you read?
A: Douglas Adams is the master.

Q: Why do you read?
A: As an excuse to lie in a hammock.

Q:Where/when you do read?
A: In hammocks, ideally in the sun.

Q: What are your politics/values?
A: Economically left wing, we need to tax wealth.

Q: Why might someone with oppositional politics/values enjoy your book? If they wouldn’t, do you regret that?
A: Because it’s exciting and funny; the politics are snuck in.

Q: Describe the ideal reader of your book.
A: The Secretary of State for Housing.

Q: How do you relax?
A: Walking my dog while listening to stand up.

Q: Are we alone in the universe?
A: How can we be?

Q: Do you listen to music?
A: Less than I used to, it was once my life.

Q: What differentiates us from the animals?
A: Opposable thumbs and guilt.

Q: What is your preferred breakfast – something you could have every day?
A: Apple, Blueberry, Peanut butter, oat bran, oat milk smoothie.

Q: What’s the highest altitude you’ve been to on land? (i.e. not in a plane)
A: About 4000m in the Atlas Mountains, with kids from Hackney.

Q: What’s the largest animal you’ve seen running free?
A: Camel.

Q: Which film/movie[s] from the past five years do you think will be future classics?
A: Joker, but I’m cheating by a few months.

Q: Do you have any pets? Why/why not?
A: Jumble, my dog – I stole the name from Just William.

Q: Where is somewhere you’ve been to that you will never return to? Why?
A: Goa: in 1990 it was beautiful, its awful now.

Q: When was the last time you climbed a tree?
A: 2023, to prune an Olive tree in Portugal.

Q: How often do you swim?
A: Three or four times a week.

Q: What happened the last time you went on a first date?
A: We got locked in Regents park.

Q: What’s the best decision you’ve ever made?
A: Converting a warehouse and letting rooms to artists.

Q: What is “cool”?
A: Quiet confidence, amicable disposition, moral compass, understated good taste.

Q: Do you like routine or spontaneity?
A: Routine in work, to pay for spontaneity in life.

Q: What do you need to thrive?
A: A sense of being needed.

Q: What do you need to survive?
A: Surprisingly little.

Q: How do you nourish yourself on a psychological level?
A: Access to culture, even if I ignore it.

Q: What makes you laugh?
A: Stewart Lee, John Oliver, Count Arthur Strong.

Q: What makes you cry?
A: Cheesy movie endings, when the underdogs win.

Q: Do you have a favourite place? Where is it?
A: Any hammock on Koh Lanta.

Q: What’s the biggest thing you’ve personally destroyed?
A: The 16 bedroom warehouse I converted.

Q: What are your weekend plans? Are these typical?
A: Walk the dog, occasionally see friends in a park.

Q: Have you ever seen a monkey in the wild? If yes, where were you?
A: Yes in India and Thailand.

Q: Describe your hairstyle.
A: Usually hidden under a hat.

Q: What’s your favourite item of clothing?
A: My 1940s Italian air force bomber jacket.

Q: If you could meet a historical figure for a chat over a beverage, who would it be and why? And what would the beverage be?
A: Jesus, to find out if he believed he was divine.

Q: What is the scariest thing?
A: Being trapped on the top floor of a burning building.

Q: How many close friends do you have?
A: Very few.

Q: What makes a “close friend” close?
A: The ability to be distant for years but resume as normal.

Q: How often do you buy groceries?
A: Daily, I never know what I’ll want in advance.

Q: What’s the most popular thing that you don’t enjoy?
A: Football, there are better reasons to cry.

Q: What’s the most unpopular thing that you do enjoy?
A: Making spreadsheets.

Q: What’s one skill you wish was taught in schools that isn’t?
A: A data driven history of politics.

Q: What’s the best museum, gallery or historical monument you’ve ever visited?
A: Manchester museum as a child – dinosaurs, mummies and samurai.

Q: Would you like to suggest a new question for future interviewees?
A: What was the most important invention of the last 100 years?

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Bio:
A former teacher, Tim Whitehouse says:

“In 2010 I quit teaching to support my youngest brother’s band, part of which involved selling my flat to fund the conversion of a warehouse to house the band and provide rehearsal space, which expanded over time.

“The warehouse became known as The Hub, and housed artists from all different backgrounds – residents included actors Taron Egerton & Josh Whitehouse (my brother), world champion beatboxers Reeps One, Bellatrix, Ball-zee & Hobbit, The Voice finalist, Petebox, drum & bass sensation, Ayah Marar.

“A conversation with James Lance (who had just done a film with Josh) about a Facebook status I’d just posted, convinced me to write the story as a script – I did that slowly but when I’d finished, realised I had no idea what to do with a script and it sat in a drawer for years.

“Covid saw the end of the warehouse project, after which I went to work for Apple TV.

“A Section 21 eviction came at the same time as the actors strike, leaving me unemployed, unable to find accommodation and with nowhere to turn for help.

“I ended up living in a caravan, whilst looking for work I dug out the script and started converting it to novel form. When I saw a job working for a charity, helping homeless people off the streets I felt compelled to apply – this got me out of the caravan and into a terrible flat in a terrible part of Tottenham. I was surrounded by crack and heroin addicts and all of these experiences came together to influence the book, adding a layer of authenticity that was lacking in previous versions.”

The Tender Wall is available to purchase in paperback (ISBN No: 979-8341340404) priced £8.99 and Kindle format (£2.99) on Amazon at https://tinyurl.com/2xwvh88f and https://tinyurl.com/2xwvh88f

Also available as an audiobook from Amazon, Audible and iTunes/Apple Books.

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“Ten Words or Fewer” gives writers (novelists, poets, essayists, playwrights, screenwriters, anyone writing anything else) the opportunity to introduce themselves and their work. If interested in taking part, email triumphofthenow@gmail.com for more details.

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