Another Birthday Rolls Around in the Dirt

Not going to do anything lengthy here as there’s nothing much to celebrate.

Another year ticked off the list.

I’m two years older than Christ, now. No wonder he let himself be fucking crucified to death.

Living just feels like a waste of time.

What happened in the last year?

I could easily pretend my life is fun and exciting and interesting (I’ve travelled, been to some interesting/beautiful places, eaten some delicious foods, worked in some very glamourous situations etc etc etc), but ultimately my year of being 34 was overshadowed by being the most insulted I’ve ever fucking been in my life (and do bear in mind this has been a lifetime of being insulted) last September, and I suppose I haven’t really gotten over that, especially as the “person” who did it refuses to acknowledge the fucking reality of their actions and their meanings and continues to try to badger me into vacuous small talk, expecting me to roll over like an idiot dog and pretend it never happened.

It’s not hard: if you insult someone to the fucking core, you either have to meaningfully apologise or – if admitting the weight of your actions is too difficult (🎻) – just fuck off!

I’m many things, but I’m not ignorant! Let people live and let live, do as you please: but don’t cut someone to the fucking core and expect them to pretend you didn’t do that!

Hahaha. Anyway.

What else?

Blah blah blah safari trip, city breaks, countryside, high fashion, mountains, cute dog, dream lover, great wardrobe, more poems in print, making short films, reconnecting with old friends, acquiring a drum machine, blah blah blah: I could pretend that I liked my life because it is evidentially better and more interesting than many other people’s, but I don’t really like it very much.

And, yet again, I feel like I’ve wasted yet another year of my shallow little existence.

Maybe being 35 will suit me. Maybe 34 was an aberration?

I don’t fucking know. And I don’t feel much fucking hope.

Buy one of the TRUTHER PRESS books if you’d like to offer me birthday wishes? Because if you’re reading this I presume you already have the ones from Broken Sleep, right???

Bye bye