Travel

Granada: It’s Pretty Shit

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Now, I’m not going to claim that the Alhambra isn’t a stunning and borderline must-see architectural wonderland. The Alhambra’s great. I don’t regret going. I’m also not going to say anything against the Baroque marble interior of Granada’s Cathedral, against the charming streets of the Albaicin district, against the breathtaking views of the Sierra Nevada, and perhaps not even against the chapel containing the monuments to and (separate) the caskets of the famously Catholic Ferdinand and Isabelle, even though it cost FOUR FUCKING EUROS to get in. I’m not going to say anything against the handful of solid tourist attractions in Granada, but what I am going to say is that once you’ve spent the four hours or so it takes to see all of these things pretty in depth (longer if you don’t have a map), there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE TO DO.

Ooh, there are mountains on the horizon. Ooh, we have the Alhambra and some corpses. Never has a city I’ve visited rested on its laurels more. Granada is boring. Expensive, boring and dead. I am bored here. I am incredibly bored.*

Last night I went to a hippyish vegetarian bar that had a picture of Dizzy Gillespie on the wall – my kind of place. But I left it earlier than planned because people – the bar staff and other customers – kept talking to me. At the time I thought this was irritating over friendliness, but after a further eighteen hours in the city I’ve realised that instead they were doing so in an attempt to try to dismantle the crushing monotony of their Granadian existence.

If you’re considering visiting Granada, under NO CIRCUMSTANCES be here when the sun sets. Visit on a day trip from the coast or Seville or somewhere else inland, but for Scott’s sake don’t make the same mistake I did.

Expensive, full of tourists, tacky and dull. Yesterday I got thru the evening on a combination of several painkillers, the weird bladder pills I’m taking and lots and lots of red wine.

I don’t want to have to that again tonight.

(On the plus side tho, I’m really enjoying Infinite Jest.)

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* There used to be an epithet one heard a lot as a teenager, stating that “only boring people are bored”, but the fact that the only person I know who still regularly says it is one of my dullest acquaintances renders it irrelevant.

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