Anti-comedy Creative Prose

Baldies vs. Real Men

Bald men: Another Victim of the Patriarchy

Photo on 18-12-2016 at 12.44.jpg
Moody bald man, dressed like he’s younger than he is / soft jazz twiddling in the background / pictures on the wall but nothing in the soul / the drip of failure loud in his-

So, I’ve done another article for the Huffington Post about the state of my scalp, and the state of the world in relation to people who have no hair. We are a persecuted minority, I argue. The least persecuted minority of all of the persecuted minorities, but one nonetheless. 

Obviously, it’s all bullshit. All I want is laughter.

Highlights:

“Personally, I can no longer masturbate in a room containing mirrors.”

“If the elite cared about the sexual desires of heterosexual women or homosexual men, [male pattern baldness] would no longer exist.”

“Other than the exceptions, most people don’t have bald friends.”

Every word’s a link, as usual. Click-a-click-a-click-a-click-me.

0 comments on “Baldies vs. Real Men

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